I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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