I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
