I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
