my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
