I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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