she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
