did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
