She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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