My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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