We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
