remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
