He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
