There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There's even glitter on my cock...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
