Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so that wasnt chicken after all
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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