wakey wakey hands off snakey
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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