it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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