I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We have started to decorate penises.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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