What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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