It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There r osticjed everywhere
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
