I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
