It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
