Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
