She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
