Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
