So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
