i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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