I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
