went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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