I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
