Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
