I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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