She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
