well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
what is it with giant penises always finding me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
foreskin is a definite game changer
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
