There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
