i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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