We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
