So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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