Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
