summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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