today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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