thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
