he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize