you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize