I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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