Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
