I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
