i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
