Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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