Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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