i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
