Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
