IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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