I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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