The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
