I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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