when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
