Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
