it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
