even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
