i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize