Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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