I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
