We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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