he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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