GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
