Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
