I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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