Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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